This is a problem that, I suspect, affects the great majority of men, and not just when they’re older: in my personal experience it’s the younger guys who are single and out having fun and sleeping around who are the most concerned with impressing women in bed (so that first of all, she’ll want to come back for more, and secondly, so that she’ll tell her friends and then they’ll want to sleep with him as well 
), not the older guys who have been with the same woman for some time and therefore already know how to press all her buttons (if you disagree feel free to tell me so in the comments). I know that everyone out there already knows about, or has figured out on their own via trail and error, that one way to make sex last longer is to do more foreplay and I’m also pretty certain you don’t want to hear me drone on about that; what you really want to know is how to last longer once you’ve got your dick in her and you’ve started having intercourse–you want to know how to pound her into pleasurable orgasmic oblivion by going at it for 40 minutes instead of just 4, right?
Ok, well I’ve learned and consequently tried a number of different things, many of which simply did not work (male multiple orgasms, anyone?), but a few I found really did help and those are the tips I’m giving you here today (first, I’ll give you a few simple physical training tips you can try, I’ll address the psychology/anxiety problem, which is often FAR more important, at the end):
Last Longer with Kegels
Start doing those kegels: I started doing this in an attempt to do the male multiple orgasm thing and after several months never was able to make it work, but it did allow me to start lasting progressively longer in bed to the point where instead of lasting 10 or 15 minutes it was more like 1-2 hours on average. Oh, by the way, this will also make your erections harder (a nice added bonus). I’ve got a really good video (SFW) for you in a second to show you what to do, but first I’ll add that you don’t need anything to do these exercises (although having something to resist against doesn’t hurt) and you can literally do them anywhere, no one will notice–this is the thing I really loved about them, I could kegel while I was waiting for my food at a restaurant, working at my computer, whatever (only thing is the faces you might make because you’re putting a lot of effort into it will make people think you’re constipated or having a seizure or something 
). I’d recommend doing a setup like this, and then slowly raise the numbers (reps, sets, and how long you hold each rep) over time: 3 sets of 5 reps holding for 5 seconds per rep done every other day, for example, and then after a couple weeks go to 3 sets of 7 reps holding for 10 seconds per rep, etc. I wouldn’t ever do it more than every other day, you do need rest and recovery time just like if you were working any other muscle. Here’s the video:
(yes, he’s gay and is obviously directing this video towards gay men, yes this site is primarily aimed at straight men, no I don’t think it matters: he did the best job explaining things of all the videos on this that I viewed, so his is the one I picked)
The easiest way to find your PC muscle is this: the muscle you use to stop yourself peeing mid-pee is the PC muscle, that’s the one you want to work. In my opinion that’s the easiest way to figure this out for sure, and doing that (stopping yourself part-way through a couple of times while you’re peeing) is also an excellent kegel exercise you can do from time to time when you go to the men’s room at work or wherever else.
How to use this during sex
Now, the way that you use this to make yourself last longer is during sex, right before what we shall call “the point of no return” (the point where there is no way you can actually stop yourself from ejaculating, it is going to happen now no matter what), you stop and tense up your kegel muscles and hold it for about 10 or 15 seconds. This should seriously put on the brakes very quickly without causing you to lose your erection. Then you can start back up again (slowly–eventually you’ll be able to do this without stopping at all) and you should be able to go at it for another 5-15 minutes or so before you reach the point of no return yet again, at which point you can kegel (or cum, up to you) and hold it again, then start back up, etc., etc., etc. You will likely find that the amount of time this buys you after you do it will get progressively shorter each time you use it, but in my opinion this alone was responsible for taking me from lasting only 10 or 15 minutes up to lasting for over an hour.
Practice and Real-Life Application
The way to get really good at this really quickly (couple of weeks at the most) is to practice it when you masturbate–right before you reach the point of no return, hit the brakes, wait only as long as you think you need to, and start back up again; keep doing this and see how long you can last. I remember that I started out averaging about 10 minutes per session, then a started doing the kegels, and slowly moved up to 15, 20, 25 minutes, and eventually (and I was ecstatic when I did this) I hit the half-hour mark.
Now, just do the same thing when you have sex: right before you hit the point of no return, hit the breaks and stop thrusting–you should only need to do this for about 10-20 seconds, and eventually you won’t have to stop at all–then change positions (recommended but not necessary) and start back up again. Couple this with other techniques (mainly changing positions and taking little mini-breaks) during sex and you’ll be lasting for over an hour after you put it in her (in other words, that hour doesn’t include foreplay, it starts when you put your dick in the girl).
Psychology, Anxiety, and a Pre-Packaged Training Program for You
My friend, who actually helped me with this problem a loooong time ago, finally took my advice and put together a whole program for guys to follow that allows you to have complete control over when you cum (you know you can make your body do what you want, it’s just an issue of figuring out how and practicing it)–you can have quickies or you can go for a couple of hours such that she has trouble waddling to the bathroom, it’s your choice, and it can be completely under your control as it ought to be. Remember, for most guys this is a psychological issue that has to do with anxiety, and the physical stuff like kegels, although a nifty and sometimes useful trick, won’t address the more severe cases out there and it’s sometimes not even necessary. His program addresses BOTH aspects: the mental and the physical. Yes, he includes a training regimen for doing kegels, but the primary thrust (pardon the pun) of it is the psychological training, it’s losing that anxiety that you may be having around women (especially when they’re naked 
). Check it out here: Cum on Command!
